The relationship between uke and nage in Aikido

The relationship between uke and nage in Aikido

3rd Dan essay by Liviu Tranca

In psychotherapy, the studies already demonstrated that the psychotherapeutic relationship between the therapist and the client is the most important when it comes to healing and not necessarily the techniques or the psychotherapy approach. What that means is that through a non-judgmental attitude, full of empathy, total presence kindness and care that the psychotherapist brings in order to create a safe place for the client to get in contact with his body, mind, emotions, traumas etc. and to explore them in order to bring clarity and healing, the healing starts to happen.
If we look now to the relation from the Aikido perspective, one of the main purposes that I can see more and more clearly, is that we can experience this healing process and growth as in a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level, through the relationship that happens between the uke and the nage. But in order to create harmony through Aikido and not destruction, injuries or conflicts, we need to be careful what the uke and the nage brings into this relationship.
How I describe to my students this relationship is as follows: “Do not make a technique on your uke, but make the technique with your uke”. What I want to express with this sentence is that as nage, or the person with the role of creating the safe place to explore the energy, ki, emotions and movement, in order to heal and grow, our attention should be in the present moment only and to the relationship that is created and also to be mindful about the influence we have on our uke.
When I started Aikido, the focus for a pretty long period of time was only on myself and the techniques. How I needed to move my body for each of the technique, how I need to position myself, my timing, how to be effective and precise in movement, my breathing etc. I find this the first level and purpose in Aikido and that of a development from a physical point of view. A very important process in order to accede to the next level because if the body is not in a state of harmony and relaxation, the mind will also be influenced. After a few years, I understood the role of the mind in this process so I started to focus on how and where is my mind in this present moment and what emotions do I bring in this present moment, because everything I carry with me, will influence the relationship that will be created. At this second level, I understood the role of meditation in the development of the body and mind relationship.
So, in the beginning if we start our Aikido practice with more focusing on ourselves and our role as nage than our partner, we slowly start to move our focus on the partner. This is why I consider, also improving our role as uke is very important in the development of this relationship. Therefore, as uke, I need to have the same presence, clarity and spirit when attacking, in order for what I bring into the relationship, to be something good for nage to use and grow. So, I think when it comes to the uke and nage, the purpose is not only one to be used by the other and to be thrown left and right in order to improve a technique but to create together a relationship where both can experience harmony and growth in a physical, psychological and spiritual form.
In this regard, practicing with different people at different levels, can make us a lot more conscious about the relationship that we create and always to be mindful about what we bring in that moment. Because if we always train with people that we know and got used with the relationship, we will only make improvements to the quality of the technique but we will lack the psychological and spiritual development. In the same case, if we always practice with people that are at the beginning of their journey in Aikido we might lack the development and improvement of the techniques. Therefore, practicing with higher level and lower level aikidoka is very important in order to develop a better relationship from which we can grow as both uke and nage.
And if we practice enough, we can see that all of our relationships also outside the dojo¸can follow this principle. Because we are in a constant relationship with our inner self ; body ; other people, environment , culture, and transcendence. What I want to say is, if we manage to integrate the harmonious relationship and the roles of the uke and nage from Aikido also in our daily life, we will be able to see all of the conflicts that we may have outside or inside as just a new opportunity for introspection and growth. And with this simple perception, there will be no conflict anymore.
As years have passed since my first time on the tatami¸ I started to understand a bit why Aikido is always different even though the techniques or the basics are not really changing that much. And that is because, the people that practice Aikido are changing and they grow every day with every new relationship that they create in the dojo. This is why I consider Aikido as the most efficient and complete martial art in our times and the next generations that will come.

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